HOW DOES IT FEEL?
To Be Abducted in the Middle of the Night
April 2013
JESSICA CARBONE-MCKINNEY
WIFE, VICTIM’S RIGHTS ADVOCATE
It was July 1, 2007. About 2:30 in the morning. (Note: Carbone-McKinney was
27 at the time.) I was asleep in my bed, and I heard the keys in the door. My
first thought was that it was my mom and dad because they had keys to
my apartment. I was waiting for them to say, “Hi honey. ... Something’s
happened to [so-and-so].”
All of the sudden, the maintenance man stepped into my bedroom. Three weeks
earlier, he had been to my apartment to fix my air conditioning. [Now], he had
a machete in his hand. He shoved me down and [waved] the machete in my face,
[then] he zip-tied my hands behind my back.
He wanted money, but there wasn’t any. He was fumbling through my purse
looking for my car keys; he wanted me to drive to my ATM. It took a little while,
and I realized that the zip tie on my right hand was loose enough that I could get
my hand out. But I waited. You try to think ahead. He took me downstairs and
put me in the passenger seat. As he got in, that’s when I pulled my hand free and
took off running. I’m 5-10 and was 130 at the time. He was 6-5 and about
230. I was screaming my head off. I remember thinking, “Please. Somebody hear
me. Somebody turn on their light.” But nobody came. He caught up with me and
actually pulled me down from behind by my jaw [near] the maintenance shed.
“You’ve just made this a lot worse for yourself,” he said.
He took me to a [nearby, empty] apartment that backed up to a lake. I actually
prayed that he was going to throw me in the water. I’m a scuba dive master; kicking
with my legs is what I do. I figured that was my best option. But he pulled my
shorts and underwear back, and that’s where he raped me for the first time.
He put me back in the car and started driving to all these different places. At one
point, we stopped at a gas station. By now, my lips were beyond swollen. I
remember looking at people in the other cars and thinking: “Somebody’s got to see
this.” Of course, no one ever does.
The zip ties were [back on and] really tight; I was losing feeling in my wrist. I tried
to rub my blood into the stitching of the car seat. I finally got him to a Bank of
America drive-through, and I took out two transactions, $300 each time. I shoved
my face right into the ATM, trying to get on the camera.
When he took me home, he raped me again. It sounds crazy, but I offered him a
beer. I thought if I could actually get him to drink it, his DNA would be left on the bottle.
He never did. He made me shower while he watched. Then he walked out of the
apartment.
I crawled on the floor, pulled down the phone and called my mom and dad. They
called the police.
He got three life sentences plus 32 years.
Note: The website feelnoshame.org, launched by Carbone-McKinney and her mother,
is dedicated “to the strength and determination of women who have suffered the
physical and emotional pain of sexual assault and domestic abuse.”
Carbone-McKinney and her husband are expecting their first child this spring.
AS SEEN ON THE PAGES OF BOCA RATON MAGAZINE
From the editor of Boca Magazine:
Jessica,
On behalf of
our edit and art teams, I can't thank you enough for sharing such a
deeply personal and painful episode with the readers of our magazine.
This is the fourth time during my tenure as editor that we've produced a
"How Does It Feel" feature, and yours, by far, was the most difficult
story to read. We're deeply humbled by your participation -- and we
applaud your strength, courage and ongoing work on behalf of victims.
If you'd like an extra copy of the issue, please send me your mailing address, and I'll be happy to get one in the mail for you.
We wish you and your soon-to-be expanded family nothing but the best.
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