Anyone can be a victim!

April is Victims' Rights Month

 

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.” ~ Confucius ~

English poet Thomas Gray (1716-1771) is best known for a single phrase from his poem Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College – “… ignorance is bliss.” Many times have I parroted that quote without seriously considering the truth behind the words. Recently, the realization that many people prefer living a life of “not knowing” was brought home to me in a most unexpected way. 

As my bio states, I am an advocate for victims of violent crime, in particular sexual assault and domestic abuse. The reason I am so passionate about those subjects is because I am a survivor of domestic abuse and my daughter, Jessica, is a survivor of rape. My experience happened more than forty years ago. Her experience was just six years ago. Together, we often speak to support groups and women’s organizations; our focus being how law enforcement protocols and societal mindsets affect both crime statistics and the manner in which survivors heal mentally and emotionally.

In March, Jess and I were invited to speak at a local networking luncheon – one I have attended fairly frequently in past years. The attendance usually numbers around 50 women. Not so this day. Many a chair was empty, which not only surprised me but also incensed me to a certain extent. More than once I asked my daughter, “What message are we being sent? Are women so foolish as to think that they can’t or won’t be a victim?”

Here are some statistics that bear repeating over and over again:

1.  Nine out of 10 victims are female.
2.  Less than 35 percent of rapes are committed by strangers. Rapists are     often  someone familiar to but not personally known by the victim -- a gardener, repairman, mechanic, sales clerk, maintenance man
3.  One in 6 women and one in 33 men will experience attempted or completed rape in their lifetime
4. Fifteen percent of victims are under the age of 12
5. Thirty five percent of victims are assaulted in their own homes
6. Almost 65 percent of rapes go unreported making it the most unreported crime in the U.S. Many survivors never tell anyone – not a family member or a friend – that they have been assaulted.
7. Only 6 percent of rapists will ever spend a day in jail - - 15 out of 16 people that offend get away with their crime
8. Seventy percent of rape victims reported no severe physical injury following their assault. The absence of severe visible injuries, unfortunately, often makes victims reluctant to report the crime

Safety is an illusion but it is one we can turn into a reality if we are but aware - always aware - of our surroundings:

1. Use the same precautions when taking your trash out to the curb as you do when going out for the evening
2. Know where you are going. Familiarize yourself with the area/location if possible.
3. Never assume that other people will care as much about your safety as you do. Question decisions made by apartment complex management, places of business, public venues, etc regarding security.
4. If you don’t feel safe, act! Put an extra lock on the door and use it. Ask why security guards are not more visible. Call to report broken lights, overgrown shrubbery or other safety hazards.
5. Never assume that repairmen, groundskeepers, maintenance workers or co-workers are “safe.” Too often employers fail to do background and/or past employment checks. As a result, you could be entering an elevator with a rapist or allowing a predator repairman into your home.
6. Try always to have someone with you when repairmen come to work in your home. At the very least, stay on the telephone with someone you can trust so that they can hear and report trouble should it arise.
7. Lock your doors and windows! It may be tempting to drive and/or sleep with the windows open, but these are decisions which should be carefully considered before acting upon them.

Remember:  Rapists often spend time monitoring the behavior of potential victims. Make it as hard as possible for them to single you out.

Most important – take responsibility for your own security. No one can protect you as well as you can protect yourself. No precaution is 100% foolproof, but being prepared can give you the advantage should trouble arise.

Getting back to the luncheon my daughter and I attended – before leaving the venue quite a few women approached us to say that they had been leery to attend due to the subject matter. Now that they had heard us speak, they were happy they had come. Jessica and I were happy as well. If even one woman is spared the horror of assault, we have succeeded.

As American author James Thurber wrote, “Let us not look back in anger nor forward in fear but around in awareness.”

If you have been a victim of rape or domestic abuse and need help, please contact the PBC Office of Victim Services at (561) 355-2418. 

The 24 Hour Crisis Hotline is 866-891-7273.  

www.pbcgov.com/publicsafety/victimservices