The "N" Word -- Noxious

 

The holidays have come and gone and with them go memories of my family’s favorite side dish… sweet potato pie. Sweet Potato Pie is a traditionally southern dish. So is Paula Deen. As I rolled pie crust after pie crust, I thought often of her recent indiscretion.

In June 2013, Ms. Deen, the undisputed queen of comfort cooking, put the brakes to fame and fortune with her injudicious use of the “N” word. I find it interesting that when Dr. Laura Schlesinger used the same word on air in 2010, the effect on her career was a mere bleep by comparison. Schlesinger, she of the famous non-stop mouth, claimed she was trying to make a point by eliciting an image so shameful that people will not even allow themselves to spell it out when writing about it.

There are many words in the English language that are offensive – two of them especially so. Both are most often designated by a single letter. They are the “C” word and the “N” word. They are equally disgusting, yet the “C” word is uttered without compunction in movies and rap music all the time. As a writer, I wouldn’t dare use the “N” word in a script or novel, not because I find it more demeaning but because society dictates that some people can’t. I am one of those people. I am white.

What does the color of skin have to do with anything? No one should be using either of those words. The black community should be especially cautious of perpetuating the myth of inferiority in the words they use to describe themselves. Remember the old playground comeback “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me?” How naïve we are to think that words do not cause pain. Words are destructive in deeper ways than physical contact. A slap or a punch will hurt for a while, a cut or a bruise will heal, but words go deep into our subconscious where they fester and grow like cancer.

By virtue of being female, I am potentially exposed to more physical abuse than any other portion of the population. The chance of being beaten, raped or murdered is part and parcel of what women have to deal with on a daily basis all over the world. One of the reasons is that terms like the “C” word are acceptable. Statistics prove that violence against women is increasing, but no one is raising a ruckus to stop it or the demeaning terms used to describe the female gender.

It’s a good bet that since sound first emanated from the human throat every ethnicity has had to deal with hateful name calling. As a little girl just arrived from Italy, my mother was called a guinea, a wop and, from those with truly creative minds, a guinea wop. The Irish have been known as Micks, the Germans as Krauts, Puerto Ricans as Spics and Jews as Kikes. None of these terms are endearing or meant to express affection. However, when someone publicly directs those epithets at an individual, the reaction most often seen is a raised eyebrow. Say the “N” word and you better run for cover.

My mother cried many tears as a child when aspersions about her ancestry were cast her way. As a teenager, my father-in-law left teeth (his own and others) in many Hoboken alleys because the Mick kids decided the guinea wop needed to be taught a lesson. My Cuban and Puerto Rican friends detested being called Spics but endured the slurs rather than get into fisticuffs. Tell me you have never heard someone say, “A Jew is a Jew is a Jew.” Again, not a compliment… and let’s not forget what being Jewish in Germany meant during the 1940s.

Slavery may have been abolished in the legislature, but the mentality that spawned it still exists. That same narrow-minded thought process is what allows the use of demeaning names for all races, religions and genders. As long as one person is allowed, by our silence, to make disparaging remarks about an individual or group, we will remain enslaved by ignorance.

If we are ever to reach a state of true equality, we cannot continue to turn a deaf ear to any type of slur. It is not enough to be outraged for one ethnicity. We need to abolish hatred for all because if even one person is forced to suffer taunts and insults, each and every one of us is guilty.