by Donna M. Carbone
The title of my blog, A View from My Pedestal, has occasionally ruffled the feathers of liberated women. Some have taken offense at the pedestal reference, feeling they have worked hard to stand on level ground with men. I can respect that even though my response is usually, “Not me! I don’t want to stand eye to eye. I want to tower above.”
Whenever I’m asked about equal rights, I answer the question in this way, “Why would I want to be equal? I’ve been superior since the day I was born.” My words elicit different reactions depending on whether the questioner is a male or a female. Men usually laugh, thinking I am jesting with them. I’m not.
Women, after a moment’s hesitation, generally respond, “I like that.” I tend to sum things up by saying, “I am what I believe myself to be. If I don’t believe I am the best, neither will anyone else.”
Each morning I peruse a variety of websites in the search for enlightenment and entertainment. A few I favor because the articles usually provide fertilizer for my crop of thoughts for the day. The contents of some articles remain with me long after their original publication date.
In 2010, change.org editor Alex DiBranco wrote a piece entitled, “The End of Chivalry as We Know It.” Ms. DiBranco began her commentary by referencing a Washington Times article focused on the “dismal” improvements in gender equality as applied to equal pay for equal work.
Ms. DiBranco got right to the heart of the matter when she wrote, “We're pretty clear on the fact that women don't get equal pay and that they continue to run up against a glass ceiling.” No argument there.
Since the boardroom battle of the sexes is never going to be won with one short post, Ms. DiBranco moved on to the real reason for her article. She found the Washington Time’s piece laughable. The death of chivalry, she claimed, was a good thing.
Quoting from the Washington Post, DiBranco referenced P. M. Forni, founder and director of Johns Hopkins University’s Civility Initiative. In Forni’s words, “Chivalry has been a victim of the women’s rights movement, which is a setback for society.” He defined chivalry as “inspired by the sense that there is something special about women, that they deserve added respect.”
Here is where I segue into a second article written in 2010, this time by Brittany Shoot, a freelance writer and editor of the Feminist Review. Entitled, “Study Finds Women Don’t Promote Other Women,” her report focused on research authored by Gail McGuire, chair of the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at Indiana University South Bend. Said research found that women in business don’t help one another.
Was I supposed to clutch my chest in disbelief at that announcement? Being a working women for upwards of forty years, I’ve always know that the female of the species is a carnivore. When a man senses someone nipping at his heels on the ladder of success, he kicks out and tries to knock him off. Why are we surprised that women don’t reach down and offer a helping hand up?
Remember, one person’s glass ceiling is another person’s floor. It is a well-known fact that powerful women cover their “floors” with wall-to-wall carpeting the same way their male counterparts have done for decades. It’s called survival of the fittest.
Alex DiBranco of the “chivalry is dead” article found the depiction of women as “special” offensive and in voicing her disagreement with P. M. Forni she said, “I’d quibble here… that chivalry was inspired by the sense that women were weaker, that they needed extra protection… the decline of chivalry is something to celebrate.”
Weaker is a misperception. Yes, we’ve had to fight to get the boot off our back, but women are far from weak. Men know that and have geared for battle.
As for being treated as special, what’s so wrong with that? Women are special... special enough to fool men into thinking we are weak. Recognizing and accepting that fact should be our battle plan – one we can use to our advantage. Not to be callous, but a smart strategist would use her “specialness” and “weakness” to climb over any man standing in her way on her rise to the top.
Allow me to make a formal request of all the men I meet in business each day. “Remain chivalrous. Please continue to step aside and let me pass.” Being a few steps ahead of you is to my advantage.
And… I might even let you share the view from my pedestal one day.
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