When Women Lie About Rape

by Donna M. Carbone 

As the mother of a sexual assault survivor, whenever news of a rape hits the airwaves, my antennae go up. Saturday, December 10^th, The Palm Beach Post carried an Associated Press story headlined “Psychologist accused of faking rape.” The article detailed the efforts of Laurie Ann Martinez, a psychologist for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, who battered herself and then reported that she had been raped by an unknown assailant. Why? To convince her husband to move to a safer neighborhood.

When it comes to rape, women can be their own worst enemy. To intentionally accuse a man, even an unknown man, of rape out of greed, revenge, narcissism or the desire to live somewhere else is detrimental to society as a whole and women in particular. As an advocate for real victims of sexual assault, I find such tactics almost as heinous as the crime of rape itself.

By lying, women are further victimizing those who have legitimately been assaulted. Lying corrodes the still shaky foundation that has been set in place to make society aware that rape is not about sex and that the victim is not – never, ever – at fault. Unfortunately, if just one woman is found to be lying, suddenly, all women lie! As a mental health professional, Martinez is well aware of the stigma of rape and the life-long trauma suffered by rape victims, so her actions are even more despicable.

I often attend professional luncheons where I mention my work on behalf of victims of sexual assault. Let me tell you that the quickest way to empty a room is to mention rape. Where, just two seconds earlier, all eyes are riveted on me, heads suddenly lower and an imagined loose thread or food stain becomes the focus of attention. Recently, I asked to be the designated speaker at a women’s luncheon. The moderator’s response, “Oh, I like to keep these events lighthearted. Can you put a happy ending on that topic?” My answer, “Sure, every time a woman doesn’t die, that’s a happy ending. I’ll only talk about the rape victims who live.” Denial is a weapon that will bury us – sometimes literally -- time and again!

I wish I could formally disassociate myself from the less honorable of the female gender, women like Laurie Ann Martinez, but I doubt that those who thrive on sensationalism will let me off that easily. So, instead, I acknowledge that not everyone’s motives are pure – humans are a mixed bag of honorable and dishonorable character traits, after all -- and I stand proudly in support of women who have known the horror of rape, giving them the encouragement they need and deserve.

If ever there was a club no woman aspires to join, survivors of sexual assault is it. Those who are forced onto its roster need to hold strong against anyone who would undermine their progress. That includes other women who use the (false) accusation of rape for their own gains.