THE
NEW DOUBLE STANDARD
According to Wikipedia, a double standard is the application of different principles for similar situations or by different people in the same situation. Most discussions of the double standard reference workplace inequities. A Carnegie Mellon/Harvard study (2010) found that qualified women were less likely to be hired if they appeared pushy. Women resisted and resented the suggestion that they tone down their communication style during interviews so as to appear more moderate. That resistance is justified.
Let’s look at a new and much more dangerous double standard… the one in which women abdicate responsibility for their own safety to the mistaken notion that their constitutionally guaranteed rights actually guarantee that those rights will be respected.
On Thursday, October 3, 2013, the Katie Couric Show featured stories about women who had faced life threatening situations and survived to talk about it. Couric’s guests included actress Charisma Carpenter, the host of Surviving Evil on Investigation Discovery, and West Palm Beach resident, Jessica Carbone McKinney… my daughter. It’s been six years since Jessica was abducted from her apartment in North Palm Beach by a maintenance man with a master key and a machete. Six years since she was beaten almost beyond recognition and repeatedly raped. In those six years we’ve made it our mission to speak the truth about sexual assault.
Following the airing of the segment, one viewer wrote on the Couric Show’s Facebook page that she enjoyed Couric’s show because of its usually “light” offerings. She was offended by the stories presented on October 3, and so, had changed the channel.
Changing the channel is what many women are doing when it comes to rape, and it’s dangerous. The feminist movement preaches that women can go where they want/do what they want/act as they want/wear what they want – which they can – without considering the possible outcome. Wrong!
Almost from infancy, we teach our children about safety by telling them not to talk to or take candy from strangers. We tell them not to cross the street without looking both ways; not to play with matches. As adults we know that water and electricity don’t mix. We know not to open our doors to strangers. We know not to drive drunk. We know that doing these things is dangerous and, often, deadly.
If driving drunk is hazardous to our health, is not that same inebriated state dangerous even when not behind the wheel? It’s not the liquor, per se, that puts us in harm’s way. It’s the inability to react quickly when the need arises. If a drunk were to approach you on the street, you would be forewarned by their behavior. You could cross the street to avoid contact. Drunk drivers, on the other hand, don’t offer an advance warning. Neither do rapists.
The feminist agenda of preaching “shame on you” to rapists is laughable. To feel shame, one must have a conscious. One must have empathy. Rapists have neither. They are predators, and like all predators, they strike the most vulnerable in their path.
While it is true that what you wear does not, necessarily, make you more appealing to a rapist; what you wear can make it more difficult to escape an attack. Long, flowing tresses are easy to grab. Five inch heels are not made for running. Drinking to oblivion can be an invitation to assault.
Don’t misunderstand. Rape is wrong no matter the circumstances. The victim is never responsible for the attack. Women should have the same freedoms as men… but we don’t. It’s time to face reality. We are not equal to men when it comes to protecting ourselves. We are vulnerable. We can die if we forget the lessons we learned as children.
We must teach our daughters from a very early age to both respect and protect themselves. We have designated drivers. Why can’t we also have designated protectors… friends who act as pit bulls for the night - watch dogs prepared to act should trouble arise?
As for long hair and five inch heels… throw a hair clip and a pair of flats into your pocketbook before you go out for the evening. Pull your hair into a bun and change shoes before you leave a nightclub or party. Hold your keys in your hand and be ready to get in your car quickly. Lock the door. Don’t leave any establishment alone. There is safety in numbers.
No one and nothing can protect you from danger as well as you can do it yourself. Safety cannot be legislated. Rapists don’t care about your constitutional rights. Their agenda is self-serving. Mottos and slogans won’t save your life. Awareness will. Think before you act.
The Surviving Evil episode focusing on Jessica Carbone McKinney’s kidnapping and rape will air on Wednesday evening, October 30th, at 10 pm EST on Investigation Discovery.
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