Summer is upon us and while students are rejoicing in “no more pencils, no more books,” school boards across the country are busy deciding on changes to curriculum and social programs offered in their districts. Here in Florida, I’m hoping that the Palm Beach County School Board, which teaches an abstinence-only sex education program, will seriously consider the need for a more inclusive course.
During the election campaign of 2008, Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, then 17, was pregnant and unmarried. In an interview on Fox News, she said, “(Abstinence is) not realistic at all."
In 2010, Bristol Palin, now with the burden of child care forever on her hips, realized she was unprepared for the responsibilities of raising a baby. She became a frequent guest on the talk circuit, warning teenagers that sex before marriage was a no-no.
Ah, hindsight… it does tend to bite us in the “hind” and leave painful reminders of the mistakes we’ve made.
The reason I’m referencing old news is the recent announcement by the Gervais School District, 30 miles south of Portland, Oregon, that designated teachers will be permitted to distribute condoms to students as young as the sixth grade beginning with the 2014 fall term. Gervais School District Superintendent Rick Hensel told CBS News that the decision was made based on a report by Oregon Health & Science University, which found that 7 percent of Gervais High School's female students had become pregnant in a one year period.
I’m appalled but not because the school district will be distributing birth control. I’m appalled that the school district must assume the role of parent in such a life changing decision. If easy availability to condoms prevents unwanted pregnancies, I’m all for it. I do hope that each condom wrapper comes with a warning label about the changes sex can make in your life.
Goodbye, college. So long, spring break. Adios parties and the latest designer tee shirts and jeans. Hello, Burger King, dirty diapers and vomit stains on your Hanes three-to-a-pack.
I wonder if the researchers who compiled data at Oregon Health and Science University ever asked each other what was missing from the lives of these young girls that sex was a viable recreational activity. More importantly, who was missing from their lives?
The Palm Beach County School Board would be well advised to consider the results of the 2013 Florida Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS). The YRBS, which is conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), is a self-administered, anonymous survey used to monitor risky behaviors leading to death, disability and social issues among the youth of this country.
In 2013, over 6,000 students in 73 Florida high schools completed the survey and the results were startling. The percentage of high school students engaging in sexual intercourse was 44.3%. Approximately 6.7% of the students in the survey (48,300) had intercourse before the age of 13.
When breaking the survey down to a three month period, it was discovered that of the 222,300 students who reported having sexual intercourse, only 135,000 used a condom.
Condom distribution has become a major talking point in many school districts in the nation. Among the states offering school based condom distribution programs are New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Maryland, California and South Carolina. Oregon will soon be joining their ranks, at least, in the Gervais School District.
Talking about sex is and always will be the best method of birth control. Responsible parents -- parents who are involved in all aspects of their children’s lives -- tell their sons and daughters that they would prefer they wait until marriage to have sex. Smart parents know that's probably not going to happen. Believing your teenagers will adopt such a philosophy is naive.
Kids are not being intentionally rebellious; they're just ill prepared for the power of sexual attraction. Knowing that, pro-active parents grab their little darlings by the arm, sit their butts down and talk the real talk. They never forget that kids are experts at saying what we want to hear and then doing the exact opposite.
When our son and daughter entered their early teens, my husband and I spoke honestly with them about our feelings. We did not expect them to wait until marriage. We would not condemn them for not waiting. We did expect them to take full responsibility for their actions and live with the consequences. We gave them "standards" for lack of a better word.
The first and most important thing we asked them to consider was how strongly they felt about the other person. Did they have real feelings or was this just a passing fancy? Notice I didn't say love. Kids fall in and out of love all the time. Distinguishing real love from a chemical surge is difficult even for adults.
What my husband and I tried to stress was that sex was not shameful and was, indeed, beautiful, but its beauty was both fleeting and painful if treated too casually. We asked them to always make the other person's feelings more important than their own. We talked about birth control openly. We also talked about disease and death. The sex primer comes with lots of appendixes, and it always needs to be updated.
I'm not saying that our method was perfect, but we must have done something right. Neither of our kids was promiscuous and, when the time came (in college), they told us before taking that step. As a result, we were able to re-emphasize the need for physical and emotional protection.
Everyone makes mistakes. Don't let an unwanted pregnancy and STDs be your legacy. If you remain silent, you could be signing your children’s death sentence. Talk honestly with your kids about sex.
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